Artist's Statement
"When I first saw your Joementum
ad, where you're desperately trying to kill an undying
Lieberman, I thought it was kinda harsh. I now have to
say I want to see that man's head on a pike, on fire,
being put out with battery acid and a fireman's axe.
What a truly despicable human."
-Pain reader Ed Weideman
Well, Ed, all I can tell you
is, when we here at The Pain single someone out
for vilification, we do not do so lightly. Joe Lieberman
is such a loathsome, sanctimonious little prick that he
has forcibly dragged me out of semiretirement--during a
bout of the flu, even--to draw a new cartoon.
I can only bear to pay attention
to the health care debate in quick, wincing glances, the
way you'd look at a nuclear explosion. Every time I check
in things have only gotten worse, and the terrible impotent
rage seizes me. It is literally a life-and-death issue,
like Iraq or Afghanistan, with the well-being of the poor
and the sick in the hands of slimy, self-important little
putzes like Lieberman, who seem to be getting off on their
position of temporary relevance, making smug obstructionist
nuisances of themselves and holding out for as much pork
for their own states as possible. The millions of uninsured--among
whom I must count myself--are all held hostage to the venality
and the vanity of that withered, preening whore (no offense
intended to honest, hardworking whores). Most nauseating
of all is his need to pretend that this transparent pandering
to his owners is a matter of integrity, like some vice-principal
solemnly insisting that this paddling is for your own good
while saving up the memory to masturbate to later. He claims
his reservations about expanding Medicaid and offering
a public option arise from a deep concern about controlling
cost--a concern I don't recall his raising during the debate
on going to war in Iraq, which to date has cost $700 billion,
a price for which we could've established a colony on Neptune.
(As I've noted before, conservatives always get fiscally
responsible when it comes to spending tax dollars on improving
people's lives, but regard such concerns as frivolous when
the money's going toward blowing people apart.)
In all
the furor over Lieberman's capricious and bitchy behavior--Paul
Krugman called it "spite," and even the normally
unbullshitable Tom Tomorrow drew him shrugging, "What
can I say? I'm just an asshole,"--the only places
I've seen it pointed out that Lieberman represents a state
where a lot of insurance companies are based, and accepts
huge campaign donations from that industry, have been letters-to-the-editor
and online comments, not news stories. Which is kind of
weird, since this would seem to be the single most relevant
factor in explaining his "position," such as
it is--especially with as rigorously unprincipled a hack
as Lieberman, a senator with whom you get exactly what
you pay for. Is there some reason journalists are loath
to point out the obvious? Is it some uncool breach of decorum
to mention a politician's financial backers, like a girl
just coming out and asking a guy how much money he makes
on the first date? Wouldn't it be just as legitimate, and
way more revealing, to include someone's campaign donors
in brackets behind their name rather than the obligatory
(D) or (R)? Thus: "Joe Lieberman (Purdue Pharma) opposes
a public option, citing concerns about costs to the taxpayer."
I recently asked a friend of
mine who works on Captiol Hill whether there would ever
come a point when the Democrats would finally cut Joe Lieberman
loose--out him as a pedophile, maybe, or just have him
killed. He responded glumly that he was pretty sure Joe
couldn't achieve an erection anymore, and you can't kill
the undead. He said the worst they might do was take away
his chairmanship. I remember how this same friend of mine
and I exulted unapologetically back when former Attorney
General John Ashcroft was in the hospital with gallstones.
Even some progressive friends of ours were a little taken
aback, thinking our schadenfreude a little tasteless
and over the line. Our argument was: Oh come on. Don't
be superstitious--it's not like our ill wishes have any
effect on the guy at all. Plus, he totally deserves gallstones!
So in that same spirit of harmless good fun, I urge you
to go ahead and print out your own Joe Lieberman Voodoo
doll and poke away. Give him the piles. Or feel free write
in your own favorite affliction: syphyllis, colon cancer,
glaucoma, rabies. It's all more painless than he deserves.
Plus, remember: he's fully covered!
Yes black hairy tongue disease
is a real disease. I urge you strongly, in all seriousness,
not to google it. You will regret it.
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